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So this will be a hard one to write.

Lately I’ve been going through something. I don’t know what to name it. Or maybe I don’t want to name it. All I know is it has been hard. I’ve been feeling out of touch with my own emotions, like for a big chunk of the time I have been on the outside looking at my life take place. This equates to me feeling as if I have zero control over anything.

Control. This is a slippery slope. You see, many times I have been told that having faith means letting go of control. But is this absolute control? I don’t know. I think it’s okay to have control over some things in life. Okay like, it’s okay to have control and a grip but only if you know when to let go. However, I’m not sure about relinquishing it completely.

Honestly, I don’t even know if this is about control.

HOWEVER, I finally made the decision to do something! Remember, mover and doer (if you read that post)? So I am changing a lot and I am running more towards God.

Okay maybe more on this later, but for now this is all I am ready to share.

*Illustration by Mari Andrews


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